It's a moment of pure panic to stand in front of the cupcake case, eyes darting between expert swirls of chocolate ganache and bubbly towers of buttercream. How, you think, is the salesperson standing there smiling and poised, and soooo calm while awaiting the ends of such a critical moment of decision: which cupcake? Which of these sparkling, flowered, fluffed, and dusted cupcakes is the one for me? The little cakes look up at you with sugary, earnest faces… am I a peanut butter girl, a caramel girl?  It's like trying to choose the cutest puppy in a litter. It is probably not best to compare choice of food with choice of puppy, but much like puppies, cupcakes tend to share a strange similarity with their owner. Yes, your cupcake choice reveals a part of your soul!   

So what will it be? 

I made up some type pairings just for fun.  All of the cupcake flavors and photos are from a box assortment I picked out at Hello, Cupcake! in Washington DC. Enjoy!

THE HEARTBREAKER 

 Dark Chocolate Hazelnut: a rich ganache and candied, crunchy nuts on a dense cake base.

This cupcake is a sweet seducer. How can you resist all that temptress chocolate? So much intensity that it's probably too much to handle for most people. Brave a dark heart and there might be serious suffering or serious gain.

The Perfectionist

Chocolate Cake with Perfect Pink Sugar Icing

This cupcake is a good girl through and through but it's no soft pushover angel-cake. The chocolate is serious. The pink sugar in neat ridges is sweet and girly but it is also perfection that results from dedicated, exacting, rule oriented work with no room for error. 

The Hipster

Coconut lime frosting on pure white lime flecked cake.

This cupcake has visual interest and offbeat flavor.  It's pale, stringy and lovely but that shouldn't be deceiving, it packs some shock value.  The candied coconut might look ephemeral but it's sweet in a strong way and with the lime, this cake is a tinge confrontational about it's wonderful uniqueness.    

The Girl Next Door

Chocolate with peanut butter icing and kiss on top.

This is a childhood favorite and delicious combination with ageless appeal. But sometimes its elegant constancy might be outshone by more exotic and glamorous flavors with brighter colors. Never fear, after some experimentation it's easy to learn that quality and honor beat a flashy, often deceiving appearance every time. 

The Hippie

Gluten Free Carrot Cake (on the right!)

This cupcake is peaceful and loves to share space. It is all about celebrating the glorious variety of all the other cupcakes and soaking up their great energy too! You almost forget that this earthy comfort cake is made of veggies and nuts (with some creamy icing that is pure nirvana!) because it tastes so good and makes you feel so happy.

The Best Guy Friend

Root Beer Float, cream icing and soda cake.

Alright, there had to be a male type-cupcake, otherwise it's not fair! This cake is a little whimsical and borderline feminine, for a boy that is your best friend and your "much protesteth" romantic comedy watching buddy. You know he loves coming with you to buy cupcakes just as much as he loves to watch "10 Things I Hate about You." But really, who orders a root beer cupcake? What a gross boy-combination!

What kind of cupcake do you order? I have to say, my favorite in this array (I tasted them all!) was the "Girl Next Door." So there it is. My soul revealed.

Wine has a little bit of a bad reputation, and it's not for being a rebel.  I am a wine lover but I have to admit, wine is a downright snob.  It takes an amazing about of time and, honestly, money to taste and learn about enough different wines to be a real "aficionado." And have you ever watched someone taste a glass of wine? When did it become cultured to stuff your face low into a glass, close your eyes like a meditative yogi and take a deep drag of pricey grape juice? Then we take a teeny, tiney sip--full of restraint and contemplation, like we haven't just order an entire bottle for a table of two--and if the wine passes the test, we give a brief oration in its honor, praising the vineyard, the 'good' year, or the late hints of chocolate.  This is downright comedic! But for a party drink, wine often seems without a sense of humor.   

Even wine has caught on to its own ill temper.  New world wines, from countries like Argentina and South Africa are taking on the on the old boys club, largely France.  In South Africa I visited a winery called "Goats do Roam." Get it? Just in case you're like me and can't understand word games, the Vineyard's name is a play on the Cotes du Rhone wine region in France.  Finally, some cocky, youthful rebellious spirit!  And they even have goats on the vineyard to back up the name.  

This goat is more than just a mascot, the goats at Goats do Roam don't really influence the flavor of the wine, but they are responsible for the cheese! During tastings the sommelier pairs glasses of wine with a board of eight cheeses. This includes everything from a creamy "white rock with apricots" that paired with a sweet white wine, to a cheese with a dusting of African spices, "cream cheese Chakalaka," that I thought tasted suspiciously similar to the coating on Doritos. 

It's baahhhlsey to take on French culture.  Get it? Baah like a goat... or a sheep? Uh-oh, I should probably let the vineyard stick to coming up with the goat jokes. They are not only comedians, they are talented wine makers, and while you can't buy the cheese in America because it is too expensive to ship, some of the wine is sold here. The 'everyman' variety is stocked on the shelves of the king of unpretentious wine: Trader Joes. Be warned, South African wines, mainly the reds, have more kick than what Americans (at least me) are used to. What rebels!   

So, does anyone have a favorite New World wine? Are the old ones even that snobby? And please, you are welcome to defend France. Their wine is really good when you're actually in the France you can get delicious wine right at the grocery store for only around 5 euros... when will wine like that come to our stores?